I started this book back in June 2022 when I first found out about Asexuality, That is one whole year of trying to read this. I didn’t finish this book last year not because I didn’t like it but because it is a heavy read! But I am so glad I was able to finish it and I am here to hopefully get a few of my friends to also pick this book up as well, as I think this book can be very beneficial to anyone and everyone whether you are ace or just curious about learning more about the Ace community and the idea of sex in general.
“The ace world is not an obligation. Nobody needs to identify, nobody is trapped, nobody needs to stay forever and pledge allegiance. The words are gifts. If you know which terms to search, you know how to find others who might have something to teach.”
Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
About The Book
Author: Angela Chen
Publisher: Beacon Press
Published Date: September 15th, 2020
Page Count: 210 Pages
Main Genres: Nonfiction, LGBTQ
GoodReads Rating: 4.37
Format: Physical
“Normal is often treated as a moral judgment, when it is often simply a statistical matter. The question of what everyone else is doing is less important than the question of what works for the two people in the actual relationship. It matters that everyone’s needs are carefully considered and respected, not that everyone is doing the same thing.”
Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
Synopsis
What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through the world not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about consent, about compromise, about the structures of society? This exceedingly accessible guide to asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are conflicts that all of us need to address as we move through the world.
Through interviews, cultural criticism, and memoir, ACE invites all readers to consider big-picture issues through the lens of asexuality, because every place that sexuality touches our world, asexuality does too.
Journalist Angela Chen uses her own journey of self-discovery as an asexual person to unpretentiously educate and vulnerably connect with readers, effortlessly weaving analysis of sexuality and societally imposed norms with interviews of ace people. Among those included are the woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and the man who grew up in an evangelical household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Also represented are disabled aces, aces of color, non-gender-conforming aces questioning whether their asexuality is a reaction against stereotypes, and aces who don’t want romantic relationships asking how our society can make room for them.
Synopsis From GoodReads
“Compulsory sexuality is a set of assumptions and behaviors that support the idea that every normal person is sexual, that not wanting (socially approved) sex is unnatural and wrong, and that people who don’t care about sexuality are missing out on an utterly necessary experience.”
Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
Rating
“Straight people are rarely treated like they’re close-minded for knowing their sexual orientation, but aces are assumed to be unsure and always on the brink of finding the person who will change everything.”
Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
Review
Look at how many tabs I have put in this book! This is officially the most tabbed/marked book I have ever owned! This book had so many parts that I could relate to or found so interesting that I ran out of tabs. I know for a fact I will be coming back to this book over the years just to read some of the quotes and to deep dive into some of the references this book had just so I can continue to learn more about Asexuality and just Sex in General.
Yes, This book mainly discusses what Asexuality is and how people who identify as ace see the world. But it is so much more than just being Ace, it deep dives into sexuality, feminism, the worldly views on sex and how they are outdated and so much more! There is a perspective in this book for nearly everyone despite sexual orientation, race and even disabilities. Sex is not as straight forward as the world makes us believe. I think this book is a must read as I learned a lot about myself and others that I would have never fully understood until I read this book. I will for sure be looking for more books like this one.
“Difference can be a gift. Being ace can mean less interpersonal drama and more freedom from social norms around relationships. It is an opportunity to focus more on other passions, to be less distracted by sexuality, to break the scripts, to choose your own adventure and your own values.”
Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
QOTD: What is a nonfiction book about LGBTQ, Feminism or just sex in general that you recommend?
“Relationships should always be a game of mix and match, not a puzzle that you have to perfectly snap into, or a Jenga tower that will collapse as soon as you try to wiggle one block out of place. Customizability is the best part, yet most people try so hard to make their relationship stick to its premade form, a one-size-fits-all shape. Many people don’t take advantage of their own freedom.”
Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
World of Bai 